i need an iv and a liver transplant
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I believe in your delicious
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
