i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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