remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
