Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(305): View more from Florida

If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.

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(256): View more from Alabama

Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.

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(240): View more from Maryland

He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice

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(561): View more from Florida

She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.

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(630): View more from Illinois

It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.

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(902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.

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(832): View more from Houston, Texas

I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.�

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(205): View more from Alabama

You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.

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(302): View more from Delaware

You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky

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