Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
Randomize
