we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize
