I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
