it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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