I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
