She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
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