'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
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