So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
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