Fuck appropriateness.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
Randomize