dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Randomize
