Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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