Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
