like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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