Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
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