Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
