You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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