if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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