I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
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