Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
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