oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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