Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
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