You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
Randomize
