Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
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