she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
