Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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