You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
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