I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
