Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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