Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
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