3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Randomize