He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
