I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Randomize
