He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
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