there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
