omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
Also, beer. Big fan.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
Hello my rib-scented angel!
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
He literally asked permission to hit on me
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
