that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Randomize