I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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