i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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