UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
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