i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
