so that wasnt chicken after all
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
Randomize