I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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