Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Randomize
