summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
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