Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
