what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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