Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
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