I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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