Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Randomize
