Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
