i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
I want to be your penis for a week.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
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