Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
