I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
17 year olds will be the death of me.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
Randomize
