It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
