my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
Randomize