he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
