i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Randomize
