I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
if i died would you start the facebook group?
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
