Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
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