last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
