8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize