im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
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