i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
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