Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
