You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
I need to wash the frat house off of me
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
Randomize