Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
I am midnight drunk by noon
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
